Blog article
7 strategies to foster resilience and self-confidence in your teen
Building resilience and self-confidence during this period is crucial for helping your child navigate the ups and downs of adolescence, laying a strong foundation for adulthood. To support your teen in developing these essential skills, this blog covers seven practical strategies that can guide them toward becoming more self-assured and resilient.
1. Encourage a growth mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort, making individuals more likely to persevere when they face difficulties. When used by teens, it’s a powerful tool for fostering resilience.1
Instead of focusing on results, encourage your teen to see challenges as opportunities for growth. Praise their effort rather than the outcome – whether they succeed or fail, what matters is that they’re trying and learning.
For example, if they struggle with a school subject, shift the focus from “I’m bad at this” to “I’m learning, and I’ll get better with practice.” Remember, we’ve now moved on from the “practice makes perfect” mantra we were taught at school to the much more attainable and sustainable “practice makes progress”.
2. Let your teen face their challenges (but be there for support)
As much as it’s tempting to step in and fix problems for your child, allowing them to face challenges on their own is key to building resilience. Whether it’s managing a difficult project, dealing with a friendship issue, or navigating high school stress, stepping back gives them the chance to develop problem-solving skills and learn how to cope when things don’t go their way.2
This doesn’t mean leaving them to figure it all out alone – offer guidance, help them brainstorm solutions, and be a listening ear when needed. It’s all about striking a balance: give them space to make decisions and mistakes, but ensure they know you’re there for support.2
Over time, this approach helps your teen gain confidence in their ability to handle life’s ups and downs, setting the foundation for resilience that will serve them well into adulthood.2
3. Promote healthy risk-taking
Encouraging your teen to step out of their comfort zone and take healthy risks is a great way to build self-confidence. This might involve trying out for a new sport, joining a club, or volunteering for something they’ve never done before. These experiences help them discover their strengths, develop new skills, and learn that it’s okay to fail – what matters is getting back up and trying again. Confidence isn’t just about success; it’s also about knowing you can handle setbacks and keep going.3
By giving your teen plenty of opportunities to try new things and praising their effort rather than just the outcome, you’re helping them build the belief that they can tackle challenges and bounce back when things don’t go as planned. Over time, taking risks and embracing new experiences will feel less intimidating, boosting both their confidence and resilience.3
4. Focus on their strengths
While it’s important to help your teen improve in areas where they struggle, it’s just as important to recognise and celebrate their strengths. Whether they’re great at art, have a knack for problem-solving, or are particularly kind to others, highlighting what they’re good at boosts their self-esteem and helps them build an identity based on their strengths.2
When teens know what they’re good at, they’re more likely to lean on those strengths when facing challenges, giving them the confidence to push through difficult times.
5. Teach emotional regulation and coping skills
Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from challenges, it’s also about handling the emotional ups and downs that come with life’s stressors. Teaching your teen how to regulate their emotions and cope with stress is crucial for their mental health and future success.4
Encourage practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, or journaling as tools to manage overwhelming feelings.5 It’s also helpful to model healthy emotional regulation yourself – teens often learn how to handle stress by watching how their parents do it.6,7
6. Encourage positive self-talk
The way your teen talks to themselves has a big impact on their self-confidence. Negative self-talk – like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up” – can chip away at their self-esteem and resilience. Encourage them to challenge these thoughts and replace them with more positive, realistic ones.8
It might feel a bit cheesy at first, but guiding your teen to say things like “I can handle this” or “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough” can make a big difference over time. Positive self-talk can improve self-esteem, stress management and wellbeing and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.8
7. Create a safe space for failure
No one likes to fail, but it’s an inevitable part of life. Plus, it’s an important one for building resilience! Creating a home environment where failure is seen as a learning opportunity rather than something to be feared can help your teen take setbacks in stride. Encourage them to practice self-compassion, which means being kind to themselves even when things don’t go as expected.9
For example, if they don’t achieve a result they were hoping for, encourage them to say things like, “It’s okay to feel disappointed, but I gave it my best shot” or “I’ll keep practicing and try again next time.” Share your own experiences of failure and how you bounced back from them, reminding them that everyone makes mistakes. What matters most is what they learn and how they grow from those experiences.9
When teens know that failure isn’t the end of the world – and that they can be kind to themselves through it – they’re more likely to take risks and face challenges with courage.9
